For My Granddaughters

Yes, you - Jada, Jessilynn, Kylie, Megan, Meri, Olivia, Vanessa (alphabetical order). You know who you are. Others may listen in. And, of course, you may chime in with praise of my great wisdom.

I have noticed that one of my granddaughters has given up on boys. She's 13. That's probably best. For now. And, since we are Catholic, convents are an option.

But - you'll probably say ix-nay on the convent thing. If your mothers had done that you wouldn't be here. So, maybe some things you should know.

Don't be surprised when you find that boys are incredibly immature and self-centered. Don't give up on them just because of that. Some grow out of it. Some don't. For boys at your age, it's impossible to tell which are which. Sometimes the great 14-year-old guy grows into the stubbornly selfish macho-acting-although-he-hasn't done-a-thing-to-earn it 18 year-old - you know, the gangsta wannabe. (Girls do exactly the same thing - at slightly different ages - but this note isn't about your relations with the girls.) So, don't be in any rush.

Mentally, emotionally, physically the guys are a little slower to mature than you are. If you're 13, don't expect any 13-year-old boy to be at the same level you're at. The difficulty - the ones who ARE at the same level of maturity as you are 15 or 16 - and those ones should not even be looking at a 13-year-old. This all does even out in the end - but it's kinda tough to deal with now, I know.

When CAN you tell when the guy gets over that "It's all about me stage"? Some never do, but by the early 20s the totally self-centered are pretty much set in their ways. Don't expect much change after that. If someone must have everything they want - can't take no" for an answer - can't discipline themselves - by the time they're 22, they won't be any less of a spoiled brat at 25, or at 35, or at 45.

See what I mean about not rushing? Have fun now - learn to relate now, but nothing serious before college. A lot - I mean a LOT - of college grads who have had lasting marriages met their partners in college. Don't let anybody put you in more of a hurry than you have to be or want to be.


And that boy that dumped you? Here's an exercise for you. Go outside on a 90+ degree day. Run a half-mile. Watch a drop of sweat run off your nose into the dust.


Any boy that would ditch a bundle of perfection that is my granddaughter isn't worth that drop of sweat in the mud.


I love you all dearly, and I am incredibly eager to see what great things you do with your lives.