No, not the Chicago Bears. A different Bear.
Bear - a Yorkie mix (OK, a little mutt, if you must) belonging to our youngest daughter, Jeanette, and her husband. Bear.
Our family has a way of giving ironic names of large critters to tiny dogs. Our second daughter, Becky, and her husband have two Yorkies (not mutts - purebreds.) The name of the first of them?
Cujo.
Last night I - the dogsitter of the moment - took their three dogs out to their kennel so they could do their business. Tank (nothing ironic in that name - you could saddle him) and Sierra did their job.
Bear did something he's done before. He managed to burrow his way out of the kennel. On one previous occasion he'd gotten out and gotten hit by a car. He was injured, obviously. In collisions between Yorkies and cars, cars win. But he recovered surprisingly well.
This time he wasn't so lucky. Burrowed out. Ran into the street. Got hit, and that was the end. The fortunate thing, if there is such, is that I don't think Bear knew what hit him, and he couldn't have suffered much, if at all.
Out third daughter, Kim, had gone out to get the dogs from the kennel, and found two. She brought them in, and said, "I have to look for Bear" - calmly, because this has happened before. Only, this time, she rounded the corner of the house just in time to see the collision. She returned a basket case. I went out, picked up the body and put it in a safe place. Stay in your holes, raccoons and possums. Bear will not be your meal.
I don't know what animals deserve or don't deserve. If 'gators or bears attack humans, do they deserve punishment? They're just being 'gators or bears, and they're doing what 'gators and bears do. But I know this, for sure: Bear, you didn't deserve to die in a puddle of your own blood on Division Street. Even if you didn't know what hit you.
After I finished caring for the carcass, I went to bed. I'm not a cryer, and I didn't cry over this. But I slept fitfully, if at all. The images kept coming back.
RIP Bear. There were lots of people who loved you, and two other dogs are now missing their little buddy.
Gotta go. Thanks for hanging out for a few.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Into each life some rain. . .
Hi, friends!
This morning it rained. Lots. I was up at about 5:30. I went out to the front porch. And listened. And thought. . .
I have been dealing with stress lately. In fact, I don't think I've had a stress-free moment for weeks now. I'm not going into what, exactly, the stressors are, but it's one set in one place and another set in another place. The end result: there's no getting away. At times I have felt like I was about to split like a rotten nut.
I'm an introvert in the Jungian, Myers-Briggs Type Inventory sense. Being an introvert has its strong points. When confronted with the unknown an introvert tends to prefer to look to their own internal resources to deal with that unknown. MacGyver would be the introvert nonpareil. Introversion also has aspects that are neither good nor bad. Extroverts go to a party and, when it's done, say, "Where's the next party?" We introverts hate large parties. I characteristically try to make my escape from such events as soon as I gracefully can. If I have to plan one that's to my liking, it would be dinner with a few - a very few - close friends. When the party is done, we don't look for the next party. We look to go home. There is, at least, one part of being an introvert that puts us - at least, me - at a distinct disadvantage. We tend to internalize everything. Everything.
Had my life taken a different turn at a few points I could have been perfectly happy as a Trappist monk.
So, the rain. I went to the porch. The only sound was the rain and the occasional thunder. I sat on the porch. And in the silence, I found myself praying. Not for anything; I try not to pray like God's a short order cook: "I'd like two over easy, some toast, a side of bacon and some OJ and coffee, please. And take care of my stressors, will ya?" She knows what I need before I know it. But, my prayer, as it often is, was silence. And listening. Listening. I didn't consciously seek to be in that state, but I was.
And, for a few moments anyway, I had some truly stress-free time. For a few moments, anyway, it wasn't all about me and my problems, which are pretty petty, after all, in the grand scheme of things. For a few moments, anyway, I was as conscious as I have ever been that I and we are part of something and Someone much larger than we.
Thank you for that, God.
This morning it rained. Lots. I was up at about 5:30. I went out to the front porch. And listened. And thought. . .
I have been dealing with stress lately. In fact, I don't think I've had a stress-free moment for weeks now. I'm not going into what, exactly, the stressors are, but it's one set in one place and another set in another place. The end result: there's no getting away. At times I have felt like I was about to split like a rotten nut.
I'm an introvert in the Jungian, Myers-Briggs Type Inventory sense. Being an introvert has its strong points. When confronted with the unknown an introvert tends to prefer to look to their own internal resources to deal with that unknown. MacGyver would be the introvert nonpareil. Introversion also has aspects that are neither good nor bad. Extroverts go to a party and, when it's done, say, "Where's the next party?" We introverts hate large parties. I characteristically try to make my escape from such events as soon as I gracefully can. If I have to plan one that's to my liking, it would be dinner with a few - a very few - close friends. When the party is done, we don't look for the next party. We look to go home. There is, at least, one part of being an introvert that puts us - at least, me - at a distinct disadvantage. We tend to internalize everything. Everything.
Had my life taken a different turn at a few points I could have been perfectly happy as a Trappist monk.
So, the rain. I went to the porch. The only sound was the rain and the occasional thunder. I sat on the porch. And in the silence, I found myself praying. Not for anything; I try not to pray like God's a short order cook: "I'd like two over easy, some toast, a side of bacon and some OJ and coffee, please. And take care of my stressors, will ya?" She knows what I need before I know it. But, my prayer, as it often is, was silence. And listening. Listening. I didn't consciously seek to be in that state, but I was.
And, for a few moments anyway, I had some truly stress-free time. For a few moments, anyway, it wasn't all about me and my problems, which are pretty petty, after all, in the grand scheme of things. For a few moments, anyway, I was as conscious as I have ever been that I and we are part of something and Someone much larger than we.
Be still, and know that I am God.
Thank you for that, God.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
My life on my cube wall
On my cube wall at work I have, among other things, two prayers. They're not just wall decoration to me. Significant parts of my life, of what's meaningful to me, is in those prayers. I say them often.
Those familiar with the origin of that prayer might guess I've had issues with alcoholism, and they'd be right. The prayer is strongly identified with Alcoholics Anonymous. Reinhold Niebuhr may have written it specifically for AA, and it's recited at most AA meetings (we wouldn't say it has to be said at all AA meetings, but that's because most of us alcoholics don't do rules well.) I don't know how much of my life I've wasted in frustration over being unable to change the unchangeable. I don't know how much I've ignored that in me which needed change, and was within my power to change. I do know that, even now, I occasionally find myself struggling with the difference.
When I wake up, I say an "Our Father", a "Hail Mary", and a "Glory Be" (yes, I am Catholic. You knew that.) Shortly after:
Step 1: Admitted I am powerless over alcohol, that my life had become unmanageable.
A tough step. We're not good at thinking ourselves powerless over anything. Frequently heard from alcoholics (and smokers): "I can quit anytime I want to. I'm just not ready yet." Yeah. Sure. There's a stage that recovering alcoholics and treatment professionals call the "want to want to quit" stage. There are those who don't even want to want to.
Step 2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
A tougher step. That sentence is loaded. We're not all that convinced that there is a "power greater than ourselves." A sign I used to keep around: "There is a God. You're not Him." And sanity? You're suggesting that we're insane? Wayulll. . .
A typical AA definition of insanity: repeat the same action. Expect a different result.
By the way, AA is not particular about how you label your Higher Power. I call mine God. For some who just cannot come to believe in a divinity, AA itself can be their higher power. You can use an old car radiator for your higher power if that works for you. The key concept: Whatever works.
But the first two of AA's steps are not on my cube at work, and they're not really a prayer. They're an acknowledgment. As one AA person observed in a meeting, for most of us church didn't lead us to sobriety. But for many of us sobriety led us to church.
The other prayer on my cube wall:
This was the favorite prayer of one of my heroes in the faith, Joseph Cardinal Bernardin. I remember a story told about him in his final months, while he was dying of cancer. Some 20 years or more earlier he'd attended a meeting. The discussion touched on an area of controversy in the Church. I've forgotten the specific issue. The meeting grew contentious, and obviously neither side had moved the other. Those 20 years later, Bernardin called one of the women who had been at that meeting, on the side opposed to him. He wanted to make sure that she knew he still thought of her as a sister in the faith and a valued member of the Body of Christ, despite their differences. She was not a prominent person. There was no reason he should even have remembered her. He not only remembered her, he reached out to her.
I think of Pope John Paul II - a little too autocratic to make my heroes list, but he's close - visiting the jail cell of the man who had tried to assassinate him in order to forgive. Mehmet Ali Agca never forgot that. Nor have many of us.
I think of others among my heroes in the faith. I came to Catholicism as an adult. I was drawn to the Catholicism of Thomas Merton (a huge influence on me), of Mother Theresa, of Pope John XXIII. I hope I find and emulate role models in all of the ones I've mentioned.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Those familiar with the origin of that prayer might guess I've had issues with alcoholism, and they'd be right. The prayer is strongly identified with Alcoholics Anonymous. Reinhold Niebuhr may have written it specifically for AA, and it's recited at most AA meetings (we wouldn't say it has to be said at all AA meetings, but that's because most of us alcoholics don't do rules well.) I don't know how much of my life I've wasted in frustration over being unable to change the unchangeable. I don't know how much I've ignored that in me which needed change, and was within my power to change. I do know that, even now, I occasionally find myself struggling with the difference.
When I wake up, I say an "Our Father", a "Hail Mary", and a "Glory Be" (yes, I am Catholic. You knew that.) Shortly after:
Step 1: Admitted I am powerless over alcohol, that my life had become unmanageable.
A tough step. We're not good at thinking ourselves powerless over anything. Frequently heard from alcoholics (and smokers): "I can quit anytime I want to. I'm just not ready yet." Yeah. Sure. There's a stage that recovering alcoholics and treatment professionals call the "want to want to quit" stage. There are those who don't even want to want to.
Step 2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
A tougher step. That sentence is loaded. We're not all that convinced that there is a "power greater than ourselves." A sign I used to keep around: "There is a God. You're not Him." And sanity? You're suggesting that we're insane? Wayulll. . .
A typical AA definition of insanity: repeat the same action. Expect a different result.
By the way, AA is not particular about how you label your Higher Power. I call mine God. For some who just cannot come to believe in a divinity, AA itself can be their higher power. You can use an old car radiator for your higher power if that works for you. The key concept: Whatever works.
But the first two of AA's steps are not on my cube at work, and they're not really a prayer. They're an acknowledgment. As one AA person observed in a meeting, for most of us church didn't lead us to sobriety. But for many of us sobriety led us to church.
The other prayer on my cube wall:
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
This was the favorite prayer of one of my heroes in the faith, Joseph Cardinal Bernardin. I remember a story told about him in his final months, while he was dying of cancer. Some 20 years or more earlier he'd attended a meeting. The discussion touched on an area of controversy in the Church. I've forgotten the specific issue. The meeting grew contentious, and obviously neither side had moved the other. Those 20 years later, Bernardin called one of the women who had been at that meeting, on the side opposed to him. He wanted to make sure that she knew he still thought of her as a sister in the faith and a valued member of the Body of Christ, despite their differences. She was not a prominent person. There was no reason he should even have remembered her. He not only remembered her, he reached out to her.
I think of Pope John Paul II - a little too autocratic to make my heroes list, but he's close - visiting the jail cell of the man who had tried to assassinate him in order to forgive. Mehmet Ali Agca never forgot that. Nor have many of us.
I think of others among my heroes in the faith. I came to Catholicism as an adult. I was drawn to the Catholicism of Thomas Merton (a huge influence on me), of Mother Theresa, of Pope John XXIII. I hope I find and emulate role models in all of the ones I've mentioned.
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. . .
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Left? Right? Thoughts on false categorization
I think that the way one person perceives another's political stance depends as much on the stance of the perceiver as on the stance of the perceived.
Oh, geez, was that a convoluted sentence or what? Sorry! try again:
The way you see me depends as much on where you are as it depends on where I am.
A little better.
I consider myself a moderate liberal. A dear friend of mine, upon seeing that, noted that she sees me as being pretty hard left. I think it's more complex than that. I also think she'd agree that it's not quite so simple..
So, some left-right issues:
ABORTION: I am in line with my Catholic faith on this issue. I am opposed to abortion. This does not necessarily imply that I am in accord with all of the individual bishops on the matter. They seem to have quite the knack for making spectacles of themselves, to no useful end.
But, to say that I'm anti-abortion oversimplifies a complex issue. Just to recall one "But what if. . ." issue: But what if the pregnancy is the result of rape/incest? Could you allow for the possibility of abortion for that circumstance? The answer to this question would depend on the reason for your opposition to abortion. If your reason is that abortion is taking an innocent life, then you must oppose abortion even in such cases. The fact that the mother was raped, as horrible as it is, does not make the baby any less innocent. Catholicism, and most Catholics I know, would permit abortions for rape victims, but our reason for opposing abortion is different. That's too lengthy and involved a discussion for this space.
And, oh yeah, about rape: I think the penalty for a convicted rapist should be life. No parole. First offense. Few, if any, exceptions. Again, a lengthier discussion than this space allows. I may be biased - dad to 4 daughters, grandpa to 5 (soon to be 6) granddaughters - but don't most people know what "NO!!!!" means from the age of two or so?
So, am I left or am I right? Liberal or conservative?
MILITARY: I want a strong defense. I served - Navy, as you may have gathered. My son-in-law is in the Army, and deployed right now. Many in the family have served in the military. We've got all the branches except the Coast Guard covered. I don't want the U.S. to be the people who hung a sign on their fence: "Beware of dog", then thought that they didn't have to bother with the dog. That dog is noble and protects, even to the point of self-sacrifice. I am proud of my service - again, you may have gathered this - and I couldn't be prouder of my son-in-law.
I got a little irritated a few years ago.when a group of talk show hosts - all conservative - went on a tour to visit service people deployed in the Mideast. One of the big talkers said something like, "I just wanted to put on the uniform of my country. . ." Yeah, big talker. Funny thing, guy: When you were 18 or 19 and it was the time that you could serve, you were somewhere else. Chickenhawks: Cheney, Limbaugh, et al. Serving - really serving - involves a hell of a lot more than just putting on a uniform. Radio Man had no clue about that.
So, am I left or am I right?
WAR AND PEACE: I'm opposed to preemptive war, and I have yet to hear a compelling rationale for our having gone into Iraq. Here, I'm pretty clearly on the left. I identify with Thomas Merton. I understand that some wars must be fought, but I can think of few wars which, when traced to their origins, made any sense.
INFRASTRUCTURE: I do think roads need built and repaired. I think bridges need maintained. I think schools should not be left to crumble with students still using them.
Is that left or right?
By the way, how many free market economists does it take to change a light bulb? None. Market forces will compel the bulb to change itself. (That was a joke, son.)
I think the government should pay their bills. That, I guess, makes me left. A definition of the Tea Party: the something for nothing crowd. The crowd that expects everyone else to lose benefits but "leave my Medicare alone."
To be sure, I do lean left. My position on the death penalty is in line with the Catholic pro-life position and the U.S. bishops (opposed; I won't repeat a previous blog post here). On immigrants, we have a responsibility to be more humane and human.And I do see the responsibility of society (the collective, if you must) toward the weakest, most vulnerable of its individuals. Mom and Dad may be deadbeats, meth dealers, whatever. This does not mean their kids deserve all the worst life has to offer. (Please note that I did not say that said useless parents had a right to raise those kids. Separate issue.) If you're going to be anti-abortion, you must come to terms with the fact that the kid you didn't want to abort deserves at least a fair chance at a decent life. There's no point in avoiding abortion if you're sentencing the baby to a short life, or to repeating the whole cycle. Again, all in line with my faith.
Labels are cheap. Labels are easy. Labels stop thought processes. Someone labeled Obama a Socialist, and by golly he was - even if he wasn't - because once the label is applied, no further thought is needed for some folks. But, it's always, always more complicated than that.
Am I left or am I right? Before answering, make sure you understand your own perspective. Maybe it's best just to ditch labeling altogether, but this is the Internet age.
Thanks for hanging out for a few. As always, I'd love your thoughts.
Oh, geez, was that a convoluted sentence or what? Sorry! try again:
The way you see me depends as much on where you are as it depends on where I am.
A little better.
I consider myself a moderate liberal. A dear friend of mine, upon seeing that, noted that she sees me as being pretty hard left. I think it's more complex than that. I also think she'd agree that it's not quite so simple..
So, some left-right issues:
ABORTION: I am in line with my Catholic faith on this issue. I am opposed to abortion. This does not necessarily imply that I am in accord with all of the individual bishops on the matter. They seem to have quite the knack for making spectacles of themselves, to no useful end.
But, to say that I'm anti-abortion oversimplifies a complex issue. Just to recall one "But what if. . ." issue: But what if the pregnancy is the result of rape/incest? Could you allow for the possibility of abortion for that circumstance? The answer to this question would depend on the reason for your opposition to abortion. If your reason is that abortion is taking an innocent life, then you must oppose abortion even in such cases. The fact that the mother was raped, as horrible as it is, does not make the baby any less innocent. Catholicism, and most Catholics I know, would permit abortions for rape victims, but our reason for opposing abortion is different. That's too lengthy and involved a discussion for this space.
And, oh yeah, about rape: I think the penalty for a convicted rapist should be life. No parole. First offense. Few, if any, exceptions. Again, a lengthier discussion than this space allows. I may be biased - dad to 4 daughters, grandpa to 5 (soon to be 6) granddaughters - but don't most people know what "NO!!!!" means from the age of two or so?
So, am I left or am I right? Liberal or conservative?
MILITARY: I want a strong defense. I served - Navy, as you may have gathered. My son-in-law is in the Army, and deployed right now. Many in the family have served in the military. We've got all the branches except the Coast Guard covered. I don't want the U.S. to be the people who hung a sign on their fence: "Beware of dog", then thought that they didn't have to bother with the dog. That dog is noble and protects, even to the point of self-sacrifice. I am proud of my service - again, you may have gathered this - and I couldn't be prouder of my son-in-law.
I got a little irritated a few years ago.when a group of talk show hosts - all conservative - went on a tour to visit service people deployed in the Mideast. One of the big talkers said something like, "I just wanted to put on the uniform of my country. . ." Yeah, big talker. Funny thing, guy: When you were 18 or 19 and it was the time that you could serve, you were somewhere else. Chickenhawks: Cheney, Limbaugh, et al. Serving - really serving - involves a hell of a lot more than just putting on a uniform. Radio Man had no clue about that.
I see by your outfit that you are a cowboy.
I see by your outfit you are a cowboy too.
We see by our outfits that we are both cowboys.
If you get an outfit you can be a cowboy too!
So, am I left or am I right?
WAR AND PEACE: I'm opposed to preemptive war, and I have yet to hear a compelling rationale for our having gone into Iraq. Here, I'm pretty clearly on the left. I identify with Thomas Merton. I understand that some wars must be fought, but I can think of few wars which, when traced to their origins, made any sense.
INFRASTRUCTURE: I do think roads need built and repaired. I think bridges need maintained. I think schools should not be left to crumble with students still using them.
Is that left or right?
By the way, how many free market economists does it take to change a light bulb? None. Market forces will compel the bulb to change itself. (That was a joke, son.)
I think the government should pay their bills. That, I guess, makes me left. A definition of the Tea Party: the something for nothing crowd. The crowd that expects everyone else to lose benefits but "leave my Medicare alone."
To be sure, I do lean left. My position on the death penalty is in line with the Catholic pro-life position and the U.S. bishops (opposed; I won't repeat a previous blog post here). On immigrants, we have a responsibility to be more humane and human.And I do see the responsibility of society (the collective, if you must) toward the weakest, most vulnerable of its individuals. Mom and Dad may be deadbeats, meth dealers, whatever. This does not mean their kids deserve all the worst life has to offer. (Please note that I did not say that said useless parents had a right to raise those kids. Separate issue.) If you're going to be anti-abortion, you must come to terms with the fact that the kid you didn't want to abort deserves at least a fair chance at a decent life. There's no point in avoiding abortion if you're sentencing the baby to a short life, or to repeating the whole cycle. Again, all in line with my faith.
Labels are cheap. Labels are easy. Labels stop thought processes. Someone labeled Obama a Socialist, and by golly he was - even if he wasn't - because once the label is applied, no further thought is needed for some folks. But, it's always, always more complicated than that.
Am I left or am I right? Before answering, make sure you understand your own perspective. Maybe it's best just to ditch labeling altogether, but this is the Internet age.
Thanks for hanging out for a few. As always, I'd love your thoughts.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Thoughts About My Church
Napoleon, speaking to a group of Roman Catholic church officials: "I will destroy your church!" (OK, OK, he said "Je detruirai votre eglise", but who's picky?) The response of Ercole Cardinal Consalvi, upon hearing this: "It won't happen. Our own bishops have been trying for 1000 years and haven't succeeded yet."
I am a Roman Catholic, and happy to be so. I find peace and contentment in my faith. I find an appeal to both my intellect, such as it is, and my emotions. At the level that matters, the Church does a great job of comforting the afflicted and afflicting the comfortable. I love being what I am. I serve the Church in return, as best I can. I'm the Lector for the 5 PM Mass at St. Mary's, Davenport in April, July, and October. I am on the Parish Council for St. Mary's. Rarely does a day go by that I am not acutely aware of how blessed I am.
I believe in God, the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, of all that is seen and unseen.
It's not as if the church has never had issues. During the tenth century the papacy was so corrupt that it was referred to as a "pornocracy." Later, during the time of Luther, the Pope was Alexander VI. Alexander had nine children by six different mothers. Yes, we've had our scandals, but we've been more open than most about bringing them out.
Heck, we even apologized to Galileo. It only took us about 300 years to get around to it.
So we have our issues. We always have. Jesus formed a perfect church, but then, in the only mistake he ever made, he went and let human beings into it. Dang.
I believe in Jesus Christ, the only Son of God, eternally begotten of the Father, God from God, Light from Light, True God from True God, begotten, not made, one in being with the Father. . .
Yesterday I attended a Diocesan Planning meeting. The issue at hand was the changes that will need to be made to address the shortage of priests. The Davenport Diocese currently has 59 priests available for parish duty. In 10 short years, we project that we'll have 40. I don't know of many organizations that could well afford to lose a third of their best workers. The number of priests is dwindling, no doubt.
Yet one of the people at the meeting asked a question that should be asked: "What do we do to start planning for when we have too many priests?" Good question, and the questioner grasped something: The Catholic Church has survived 2000 years of cyclicality (if that's not a word it ought to be.) The pornocracy of the 10th century was followed by the Cistercians and Bernard of Clairvaux. The low points of the thirteenth century were followed by Francis of Assisi, St. Dominic, and the mendicant orders. And the time of Alexander VI was followed by St. Ignatius of Loyola and the Jesuits. The church has always found a way to live up to one of its mottoes: Semper Reformanda (always reforming).And, I am confident that there will be a time when the priest shortage will be a distant memory, then a footnote in the history books. Even now, there are regions in the world where there are more vocations to the priesthood than we know what to do with, and I'm told of a diocese in the U.S. - not one of the ginormous ones - that has 100 seminarians in the process.
A book I'd recommend: Graham Greene's The Power and The Glory. The society rejects the Catholic faith, in particular priestly celibacy. The priest is sought (and executed) because he observes that vow. The priest is called the "whiskey priest" - not a great recommendation - but he stays faithful to what he knows. On his death, another priest gets off the boat.The message: we'll just keep coming.
We'll just keep coming.
I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the Giver of Life, who proceeds from the Father and the Son. . .I believe in one holy catholic and apostolic church.
Thanks for hanging out for a few. As always, I'd love your thoughts.
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