Arrest and Trial

It's the start of Good Friday. And I'm up way past my bedtime. Thinking - contemplating. . .

I think that, if you would understand Christianity, you must come to terms with Jesus' betrayal, arrest, trial and crucifixion. There is no doubt that something earth-shaking happened on that cross. We may have no way, in any human terms, to know precisely what it was that happened, but something did happen, and that something was of such a nature that no human words are adequate to describe it. That inadequacy of human language is the reason that any talk of God is and must be metaphoric.

But, something happened, and nothing - nothing - ever has been or ever will be the same since.

It's now about 1:00 A.M., and since the end of the Holy Thursday Mass I have been soaking myself, in thought and in reading, in St. Mark's account of Christ's Passion. I mean to not hurry through it. To come to terms with your Christian faith is to come to terms with what happened on that cross as best we can, so I'm slowly working my way through Mark chapters 14 and 15. A theme that is present in these chapters is betrayal. At one point Peter tells Jesus that he, Peter, will never betray Jesus, even if his loyalty costs him life. Jesus - can you almost hear Jesus' snorting under his breath? - replies that this very night, before the cock crows twice, Peter will deny three times that he even knows Jesus. By the end of chapter 14, that which had been unthinkable to Peter just hours before has come to pass. He denies three times that he knows Jesus. Immediately after the third denial, Peter hears the second cock-crow. Peter goes and weeps bitterly.

One type of prayer I engage in is that I read a passage slowly, meditatively, and try to place myself in the scene. Who am I? What am I doing? And, in this scene, that leads to a question. Even now, centuries and millenia later, could I really say that I'd do anything different from what Peter did? Would I also have denied Jesus because it was - well - comfy and convenient?

Probably. In fact, I do so now. So this is my confession and my apology, however weak, and my stated intention of repentance, however inadequate.

Lord, you said that those to be blessed of the Father would be those who gave you food when you were hungry and drink when you were thirsty. When I have seen those who were in need, and not recognized you in them, I am so so sorry. Please help me to do better.

Jesus, you said that those to be blessed of the Father would offer welcome to the stranger. I try, Father, in my efforts to obtain justice for immigrants, but my efforts are weak, and too often I think that this is something I should get a pat on the back for. Even when I try to help, my motives are largely selfish. Lord, please forgive me, and if we - WE - have any successes, let all the glory be to your holy name. Let me see You in the face of the undocumented worker.

And for the sick - the naked - the imprisoned - where I have failed to identify the need or to contribute to the solution - where I have failed to recognize You in the faces of need - God, forgive me. Kyrie eleison - Lord have mercy.

So, yes, I betray Jesus. I do so daily. And as I think, and as I reflect, it's only His love and grace that makes me want to do better.

How 'bout you?

Thanks for hanging out for a few. Love your thoughts.